The 100 Goddess Project began as a means for me to find love within myself. Goddess energy makes me feel free, it somehow removes the barriers I’ve built around myself. I can sit with clay at my lowest moments and create beauty. I can lean into clay and find support. That became a miracle for me, something to do that could pull me up from my knees in a moment of need. Somehow I was able to use this project to work on myself and my own forgiveness. At first it appeared like stepping stones on a path I could easily follow. The first set made for others sparked a light of hope in me—hope around feeling whole again. I was searching for purpose because I’d lost mine somewhere.
In my life experience I’ve learned some things the hard way. I’ve been left alone so long by those I love that the monster in my story learned to grow faster and bigger in my solitude. So I built positive affirmations for love out of clay one goddess at a time until I finished the first hundred. I really didn’t know what was going to happen outside of my commitment to give away love 100 times.
The process of making beautiful things always with the intent to give it away. Just the feeling of letting go, I had no idea what that alone would do. While in the middle of this compassionate endeavor, the grifter felt the most gifted!
I’ve taken what I need the most in the world and planted it deep inside each piece. My goddess sculptures carry with them an intention for love and light. The feeling one gets when they are able to give away instead of hold tight. To be able to send the love and light on its way has enveloped me in possibility and purpose.
The project has shown me I can survive, I can live without the love of my family and gather bits of love from other people and places in my life. It has been a hard battle for me to learn I am more worthy than those I love most think me to be. This project rose up from the ashes of my story, forced her way under my skin and refused to allow me to stand in worthlessness any longer. It was my fight to see my own self worth clearly, to want love and believe I deserved it.
This brings me to what I call my “no go pile” which I’ve had since the very beginning. I’ve made goddesses I’ve not been happy with, ones that I could easily pick apart and feel not good about. But each one has been reached for again and given a second chance. Second chances are amazing, they can sometimes clearly be the thing to do for another.
When the road is rough and you start to stumble the best remedy is the offer of a helping hand. In my struggles I pull away and hide, I feel a degree of shame that doesn’t allow me to ask for help. I have this voice in my head that demands I am asking for something someone else needs more. I’ve done this for so long I can’t remember when it began.
The Goddess Project held me in a place of worth, it lifted me up. I worked hard to bring the project to life, I used it as a light that lead me out of a darkness too long present for me.
I am working on Goddess #180 now and hope to never stop.
Thank you for investing some of your time in hearing the story of the 100 Goddess Project.
-Bridgit
