I just got back from my Healthier Heart class with Julie at Kaiser. There were two other patients there and one wife. Nice and small, comfortably personal. I met Russ and his wife Melanie who are vegan, I want to make some vegan friends! That is the universe working for me, yes!
Intense learning all about what actually happens in the body and all around heart disease. I didn’t realize the build up in our arteries are actually in the lining of that artery not inside the open space. I was really happy to learn more and ask questions.
I am all about how to prevent another right now, that and how to really know the difference from my normal everyday upper body pain to the thing that almost took me out. I am not afraid of dying, I do not remember ever being afraid of dying. Since around 8 years old I have understood it was the plan, no one gets to pass it up. I have friends on the other side and have no fear of crossing the rainbow bridge. I just can’t leave before the dog, I promised her I would be around for her for all her tomorrows. My son is living his life and in many ways I think my mothering holds him back. I know I am not alone, but I feel this single mother thing that never leaves me! I still buy things in quantity so I don’t worry about running out.
January 26th it was all about not dying next to my friend on the way to the hospital, I couldn’t imagine doing that to him. Just as I couldn’t imagine hitting the floor in the middle of Della Frattoria’s during their gathering, and got the hell out of there just in time.
Today in class we learned the 7 biggest causes of heart disease.
Smoking
High Cholesterol
High Blood Pressure
Diabetes
Overweight
Excessive emotional stress
Genetics- Inherit traits from parents
6 and 7 have me hooked in and left me feeling powerless!
As I said before my family is full of bad hearts, at this point there is no way to argue with this result. My doctors are worried about my depression, my lack of appetite. I’ve had adverse reactions to medicine I have tried to help with depression and have had no relief in that regard. I am thankful to know it helps many I know and that keeps a small flame of hope burning. I’ve been getting emotional over father daughter commercials most of my life and now all family stories that are sweet do it. I cannot lie and say I am not effected every day by the distance between me and my brothers, the stinkin thinking in my head around that has not been good for me. I try and hide it and leave it behind me but I sure didn’t fool my own heart.
The truth is we cannot change things that are not our’s to adjust, we can be hurt, complain, even push and shove about it. But if that reality lives outside your own lane you have no power to change that, there is no life hack that works here. We only have the power to adjust how it effects us. I have stumbled again and again about my place in my family and have not successfully changed how it effects me. I realize the things I miss the most about family are the feelings of being loved, for so many years I felt special having two big brothers. There is no one to blame here, it’s just part of the story.
I feel pretty good in my body, I don’t say that very often! I never got to play a sport as a kid, I realize now why. Nothing was the same after being crushed by that machine. I’ve never really known what feeling good in your body means and it wasn’t until 2010 that I finally understood why. But today, I am here, I am doing my best. I have some blood tests ordered to see if I am malnourished, they are doing some kind of test to check the flow in my groin arteries tomorrow. I am excited for Friday to get my first set of fine point injections for the muscle spasms in my neck and shoulders. A go around to try and address my migraines, crossing my fingers for great results!
We also went over how to read labels on food packages, so you get it! Haha, I have been using the easy sodium rule forever. If the sodium is more than the calories put it back! Pickles or pickled foods and cheeses are both high in salt! I gotta go vegan cheese shopping and check the salt levels in those.
*Excessive emotional stress can kill you! It’s the truth, do what you can to change your stress before you have a heart attack like me!
VOTE!